Season 5 of THE OFFICE

On Thursday was the season 5 premier of "The Office." For those of you who haven't watched it yet you are really missing out. This show is such a great spoof on reality t.v. Here are some quotes from the episode that might make you laugh again...

Andy Bernard: Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them because they're unfair.

Jim Halpert: I don't really know Ronnie. But I have a feeling I will get to know her very well over the next few years. And eventually declare my love for her.

Kelly: [looking sick] I'm on the third day of my cleanse diet. All I have to do is drink maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water for all three meals. Um, I just bought some bikinis online size 2 so.. I'm gonna look amazing.

Phyllis: Yes, uh, I've replaced Angela as head of the party planning committee. [flash back to catching Angela and Dwight in the act] I guess I was just in the right place at the right time.

Ryan Howard: Jim. I wanted to apologize...for how I treated you last year. I lost sight of myself and now that I've quit the rat race I've realized there's so much more to life than being the youngest VP in the company's history. I've even started volunteering. Giving back to the community.
Jim Halpert: Well that's great. [shakes Ryan's hand] You're talking about your court ordered community service?
Ryan Howard: I don't need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean.
Jim Halpert: But he did, right?
Ryan Howard: Alright.
Jim Halpert: Alright.
[cuts to Ryan in an interview, where writes down Jim's name on a revenge list]

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

Angela: [yelling at Kevin] Listen, Dummy! It's not that hard! All you have to do is take the numbers from the sales report and type them into a master spreadsheet. A GD monkey could do it. I do not understand why you can't do it.
Holly: No! You DO NOT talk to him like that.
Angela: But he's an idiot.
Kevin Malone: Hey.
Holly: He is not an idiot...
Kevin Malone: Thank you, Holly.
Holly: ...he is mentally challenged. But he's doing a super job here.
Kevin Malone: Wait back up. Do you think that I'm retarded?

For more quotes see this site